Friday, November 1, 2013

Why am I?

Rebecca prayed for children. But then she found out it wasn't all flowers and butterflies. It hurts. It's hard to have a baby, especially twins who move around in the womb. And she asked "Lama zeh anochi?" "Why am I?"

It's an ambiguous statement. What was she questioning? Different interpretations go in different directions. Rashi sounds like she was saying she couldn't imagine why she ever wanted kids in the first place. Ramban says she was questioning why she exists if this is so bad.

They have a similar psychological signal here. Her situation is true for many of us. We start a project and along the way we often lose sight of why, and we get depressed. Take working out. We want to be fit, healthy, strong. So we start to do some cardio, build some muscle. But its hard. And a few days or a few weeks later, we give up. We forgot that inspiration that moved us to start, because it wears off. We question why we even started, what's the point? Lamah zeh?

If we could remind ourselves, reinspire ourselves, we could go on. So what does she do? She inquires from the lord. She prays and hopes. And she's answered. These kids will be great. They will struggle, as they are now, but they will certainly be great nations. With this information, she is inspired to keep going.

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